Apples and other uncertainties

Listening to The Candid Frame podcast or two and having a lot of thoughts running through my mind. It started really this week when I spent Sunday morning designing (or reworking, rather) a logo for a brand I'm developing. Again, in my mind, more than anything. I feel strangely passionate about the brand but it is as yet largely undefined.
 
I have some thoughts about opening a store, a combination of handmade, quirky and eclectic, crafty goodness and children's stuff, kind of a la Lark in a way, and combining some other inspirations. But I'm not silly (and I have a lot more thoughts on it than the style, I'm not just romanticizing it either), I realise that I have more demands on my time and energies than would make a storefront possible. And I'm not passionate enough about it to make it happen anyway, though I know some people are.

But I have this brand which I love and want to develop. Then I thought of an online store - but that is a totally different niche. I feel like the style I wanted to develop is FILLED online already in Australia. Not in real life in this area, the Dandenongs, but online - there are so many gorgeous stores already. Then I wondered if I should use the brand to relaunch my photography. But, no. I decided some time ago NOT to promote and compete in the world of portrait photography. And that's not about ability, it's about the way that I feel. I do think it would be a cool brand for photography though, LOL.

One thing about listening to this podcast interviewer guy on The Candid Frame is that he is a photographer interviewing, and displaying incredible respect, fascination and admiration for other photographers. I loved listening to his interview with Tara Whitney, though it is years old now. Tara and also Barb Uil are my two favourite photographers. Modern day. But now there are so many capable and inspiring photographers. I'm happy to just love it.

But then WHAT. I get this quite regularly. The impasse. I have too many pies and none of them are so awesome that I know they are the one. I think I am coming to terms with that. I don't mind being many hats. Though I have to stop doing things for people (for free, anyway) - I naturally want to, I have an urge to help and improve things for people and their business / brand or other needs, but it isn't helping my sense of direction at all! Sure I can do different things but it doesn't mean I'm the best person for them all. And if someone only wants what I provide - be it photography, design or whatever technical thingy - just because it is easy to accept, then that is not the best use of my energies or skills either. So it's less the payment actually and more the value that makes a difference to me.

I'm enjoying recipes and web stuff for Outback Pride again, which is fun for me and no pressure, so that's good to continue with. Playing with styling photos at home. Making stuff. Doing stuff with the kids. Finding some way of making stuff I love contribute is part of the trick. I'm doing a fun Indie Business online workshop starting this month, so that might help. Who know, right?

Long story short, not sure where I'm going with it. I did enter a portrait prize the other day, and always feel hopeful. Of course, otherwise what is the point of entering. But still, photography does still excite me. Design excites me, but I'm no expert. I'm actually not trained in anything. Well I did part of a traineeship to be a library assistant. But that's it really. Not that training is everything, or even anything sometimes.

And you know what is hard, how do you know what you like purely and what is partly absorbed? Like, for readers or Decor8 the blog and real living the magazine (both of which I love, by the way), does no one have a colourful cluttered house anymore? Should no one want one? Are they just not stylish or do I just read the wrong interior thingys?

Do you know what I mean? So much is out there, with inspiration overload, it is so much harder to sift through the ideas for the core of the matter, the passions that are tied up with who you are and not just passing whims. Ooh I love that word - whims. Whimsy. Whimsical. Fantastic.

Anyway, just exploring thoughts. After a day of early intervention (ash), dirty washing, sausage rolls, physio appointments (sienna). and grocery shopping. Ben playing Halo co-op games on the xbox 360. Drinking cold milo and milk while listening to podcasts and editing food photos to email to our waiter from the restaurant Fifteen Melbourne from the other week. Francesco the waiter who I explained depth of field to, because he has the same camera body and asked about making backgrounds blurry. A standard mix-tape of a day. No dramas. Just another day, another dialogue. Internal and otherwise. Here's a funny greeting card to leave you with... from Able and Game (again!)